I Don't Forgive You

Yesterday my wife and I started watching a new show called Mom. The story focuses on Anna Faris' character and her stuggles to be a good mother. Ofter she blames her bad parenting on her own mother, who has just recently come back into her life.

The show is, at the end of the day, a sitcom. It does tackle themes of addiciton, drug use, and becoming a better parent, but it does so in a comedic, sitcom-y way. Sometimes this works really well, but other times it falls flat.

For example, the main character's daughter gets pregnant by the town's pastor's son. The son is extremely supportive, saying he will stand by her and they will raise this baby together. The pastor, however, deals a heavy hand of religious blame. "How do we know that baby is really my son's? She is a temptress that led my son astray. These kids will not be getting married." So on and so forth. The family stands up for the daughter and the pastor and the son go on their way.

Later in the episode, the daughter and the son run away, and the pastor comes back to the house looking for them. "I just figured they'd be here" he says. Then he goes on to say something completely unbelieveable.

"I may have acted a little harsh last night."

I was reminded in this moment that I was watching a sitcom.

In the span of 10 minutes, the pastor goes from blaming and insulting to backpedaling and apologizing.

Characters and plots need happy resolutions by the end of the episode. God forbid some of the characters don't get closure. Sure, let's just have the DEEPLY RELIGIOUS PASTOR come back to the house and APOLOGIZE for being WRONG? I was taken out of the show almost immediately. I guess I can't fault a show for being what it is, but it still bothered me.

I was reminded of a different show, an example of what this moment could have been.

Bojack Horseman just found out that his long time associate Herb, is dying of cancer. Throughout the episode it's revealed that Bojack betrayed Herb when Herb needed him the most. It destoryed Herb's career. 20 years later, after not even a single phone call, Bojack is driving to his house to see him one last time. Hopefully to show him that he's a changed man, and to seek his forgiveness.

He tells him "I feel bad about what happened."

"Okay." Herb says bluntly. "So you're apologizing?"

"Yes. I'm sorry."

"Okay. Well, I don't forgive you."

"What?"

"I said I don't forgive you."

Bojack Horseman, who was evidently the star of a sitcom in the nineties, thinks that all problems can be solved like a sitcom in the nineties. Say you're sorry, get forgiven, cue saxophone outro music. The reality is much more complicated than that. Bojack betrayed and abandoned his friend for 20 years. He went back to Herb's house not because he was actually sorry, but out of his own selfish desire to get closure. Herb's response is completly valid, and he goes on to call him out on his behavior.

"You know what your problem is? You want to think of yourself as the good guy. Well I know you better than anyone and I can tell you that you're not. In fact, you'd probably sleep a lot better at night if you'd just admitted to yourself that you're a selfish, goddamned coward, who takes whatever he wants, and doesn't give a shit about who he hurts. That's you. That's Bojack Horseman."

"I don't know why I came here." Bojack retorts.

"Yeah, you do." Herb says defeated, as he rolls his I.V. stand back to his room.

This would be the last thing that Herb would ever say to Bojack, as he would die shortly after. There are no quick resolutions, there is no closure, there is just betrayal, and all the time in the world to think about what you did. This, juxtaposed with the silly animal-human hybrid animation world that the characters live in, is one of the things that make Bojack Horseman such a great show.

This is what this moment could have been. For a pastor to change his mind on the raising of his soon to be grandchild in the span of 10 minutes isn't realistic.While I do understand that this show is a sitcom, sometimes I just want a little less sitcom in my sitcom, you know?